Hello and welcome to episode 201 of Travel Stories from the Back Again And Gone podcast.
Being recorded in the beautiful home office of, Chateau’ Relaxo, FL. If you are a new listener welcome, if you are a returning listener welcome back. Tonight it’s the August travel roundup.
Tonight I am partaking in a Sweetwater G13 Dank Double Hazy IPA weighing in at 9% ABV. Both Sweetwater and New Belgium Brewing consistently hit it out of the park.
Believe it or not one trip since our last episode. It was a turn and burn to Jacksonville and the only reason that I mention it is to let you know I-95 still sucks and the Jacksonville Whataburger is worthy of a visit and ask for the spicy ketchup.
This episode will be very “Thank you Florida”. And we are opening with this. If you don’t have an airline-branded credit card or one that contains some sort of metal product in its name checking luggage gets expensive, really fast. Well, check out this travel hack to avoid those fees showcased in the Miami International Airport. Wrap yourself or your travel partner head to toe in shrink wrap. I would suggest doing this inside the airport in the restroom. Since everyone will believe that this is a luggage have them bunny-hop over to the luggage scale for the weigh-in. After the weigh-in hop on over to TSA but before you make it the the police intervene and un-wrap you. As plausible as this sounds, it did take place in Thank You Florida after all, this was done for clicks on the “Gram”. It worked with over 20,000 clicks in under three days. Of course, the comments, over 1300, is the true comedy gold.
Just a quick sample:
Almost thought it was Kanye and Bianca’s new outfit
He identifies as luggage
This is why aliens just keep flying and never make stops
My favorite before I got tired of scrolling, I've also been shrink-wrapped at fetish parties, nothing weird about that
To set the stage for this next one you might have to use the “Way Back” machine and set it to the early 1980s. Do you remember Sy Sperling? Sy Sperling was a businessman who helped bring the hair-loss industry into the mainstream with self-effacing ads. His catchphrase, “I’m not only the Hair Club president, but I’m also a client.”. As someone who has been follically challenged for close to 40 years, my stance is it’s the hair you have on the inside that matters. It makes no sense, but I came up with it.
Miami International Airport, take two - Two passengers were arrested after refusing to deplane an American Airlines flight bound for Las Vegas. 27-year-old Eugenio Ernesto Hernandez-Garnier had a bleeding head wound and blood-soaked bandages.
Flight attendants were concerned for the man’s medical condition as well as exposure to the man’s blood and asked him to clean up the wound and replace the bandages. But the one he was wearing was the only one he had.
He and his wife, Yusleydis Blanca Loyola, were asked to leave the aircraft.
They refused, declaring “If they could not fly, no one else can either.”
Police were called. They boarded the aircraft and asked them again to deplane.
They were told that they would be arrested for trespassing if they did not comply, and of course, the couple remained defiant. That’s when the man’s wife began shouting that he’d just had surgery and looking at the pictures, it appears it may have been a hair transplant. As they say, pics or it didn’t happen.
Eventually, they were both handcuffed following brief resistance and removed from the aircraft along with all other passengers. Passengers cheered and clapped as the couple was escorted off the plane. They were both taken to Jackson West Medical Center for evaluation before being taken to the Turner Guilford Knight Correctional Center.
Hernandez-Garnier and Loyola face charges of trespassing after a warning and resisting an officer without violence.
While I am not a mental health my thought is these two are residents of the “Island Of Me”.
Here’s a travel tip Miami International is the drama queen of U.S. airports. Arrive early if you want some entertainment.
Are you familiar with Liliana Goodson? Who is Goodson is a “Thank You Florida” resident, and whose pronouns are they/them, and they was headed to clown school in Sydney. When they arrived at the airport, they were stopped with a Colt 45 pistol and ammo in their luggage. They were also carrying squirrel feet, rabbit pee, and a cat spine, Goodson sounds nice, doesn’t they? And get this, the gun was 24-karat gold-plated.
Initially, they claimed to have simply forgotten they had their gun with them. Seriously, who hasn’t placed a 24-karat gold gun in their luggage and simply forgotten about it? Kiddos, remember this, when you’re charged with a crime, prosecutors can get all of your Google searches. And apparently, Goodson had Googled “Can I carry a gun in my suitcase?” before their flight.
Now get this, up until 1997 Florida was home to the Ringling Brothers Clown College, while Ringling College is still in business, however, its focus is art and design and not teaching one to make balloon animals or juggle. Have no fear as Lake Placid, FL is home to Toby’s Clown School. Where in as little as three days you can learn, Balloon Twisting, Walk Around Comedy, Face Painting, and Comedy Skits. Goodson could’ve headed to Lake Placid and forgo the whole gun in the luggage trick. Lake Placid, FL just 2 hours south of Chateau’ Relaxo.
Our final “Thank You Florida” contribution, and guess what it comes from Miami International Airport, again.
Missing a flight is never fun and if it’s your fault it makes matters worse. There’s a video, there’s always a video and I’ll put the link in the show notes.
This passenger just missed his Air Europa flight from Miami (MIA) to Madrid (MAD). If you don’t often fly, flights typically close boarding 15 minutes before departure. This means you need to be on the plane 15 minutes before departure or you might lose your seat. Seriously if you’re cutting your flights that close, that’s one of the reasons you’re on anxiety meds.
Watch the video and you’ll see that the passenger cries like a third grader. You’ll hear him cry after being informed he was too late for his flight and then magically snap out of it.
Tesha was the unfortunate gate agent and this guy seems to think that by raising his voice and getting the name of the gate agent, he’d be able to get on the flight. The tip-in is that he threatens to call 911 which would’ve shown up on scene 20 minutes after the flight departed.
Tesha offers up her name and is all too happy to spell out for him…T – E – S – H – A
Our passenger’s response was, “I like your hair, I don’t need your name.”
His next exchange with the gate agent is right of the set of the 2011 movie “The Help”. As our plane-less passenger offers this up, “I’m a teacher. I’m a beautiful person”. Which did not affect the gate agent.
Our passenger finally gets frustrated and leaves the gate area and as he walks away, he begins taking pictures and videos. As he photographs Tesha, she says, “Hold on, get my good side!”
As they say, just another night in Miami.
It’s been a while since we’ve talked about travel hacks, especially if they are lesser known and can save you some money. Here are a few.
Take a screenshot of your boarding pass QR code in case you can't pull it up in your Apple Wallet because it can still be scanned from a photo.
Pack plenty of Zip-Lock bags. While they’re small they are useful. Wet shoes, swimsuits, whatever it goes in the Zip-Lock. You can deal with it when you get home.
Google is your friend, use it to map out what’s near your hotel, and use it to read the reviews. Also if you so a negative review check to see how many reviews that person has posted. If it’s only a few take their review with a grain of salt.
If you have two-factor authentication enabled. If you lose your phone consider the number of things you won’t have access to anymore.
Never put medications in checked luggage.
Travel with a long phone charger cable as you never know how far you’ll be away from an outlet.
Keep a notebook of "lessons learned" for the next trip.
Food, while most hotels offer a complimentary breakfast you still have a meal or two that aren’t comped unless your company provides a 1998-style expense account. If you can stop at a grocery store, do it, if not try Door-Dash or Uber Eats as they will typically be much cheaper, and better quality than what the hotel offers.
Following up on that last tip, food. I’m not a fan of room service, one reason is that I don’t want to pay $23.00 for a burger and fries and the second reason is either I have to ask the desk to remove the room service charge from my bill or I now have to itemize the expense..
Does it ever make sense to order room service? It can.
When time is money - “Say you’re in a hotel room working and you get paid $40/hour. It might take you two hours to find an appropriate lunch spot, eat, pay and get back to your hotel room. That’s already $80 wasted on a lunch out, whereas room service can save you that [time] and you can get more done and be more productive.”
When you’re at the end of a busy day of travel activities - If you roll into town 4 or 5 hours later than planned, room service is great; as there is no getting ready, no driving or Ubers, and no need to communicate with anyone besides placing a call.
When the hotel has an award-winning restaurant attached, or across the street. I once stayed at the Swan & Dolphin and Todd English’s Blue Zoo was attached, a meal that I will never forget. Or the Harbor Seafood & Oyster Bar in Kenner, LA located across the street from my Fairfield Inn.
Last month we reported on “Raw-Dogging” it, and it’s not what you think, when it comes to air travel Raw-dogging is the act of boarding a flight ― long-haul or otherwise ― with no headphones, no book, no form of entertainment or diversion other than the digital flight map.
Fast forward to this month and numerous doctors have come forward to advise against the practice. So, what could be wrong with sitting in solitude?
This is what Dr. Gill Jenkins told the BBC:
“A digital detox might do you some good, but all the rest of it is against medical advice,”. The whole thing about the risk of long-haul flying is that you’re at risk of dehydration. If you’re not moving, you’re at risk of deep vein thrombosis, which is the fancy term for blood clot (thrombus) forming in one or more of the deep veins in the body, usually in the legs. Plus dehydration from flying doesn’t help. Not going to the toilet, that’s a bit stupid. If you need the loo, you need the loo.
Dr Gill isn’t that far off as several years ago I had a co-worker suffer deep vein thrombosis on a short three-hour flight. Thankfully. deep vein thrombosis isn’t an immediate death sentence and this co-worker is still on our team.
I use those 2-hours to get caught up on podcasts or watch some TV shows that Hallmark or Food Network produced. If you want to raw-dog your next flight get on with your bad self, but I won’t be joining you.
We need one last “Thank You Florida” story and it comes from the Ramp-Life Instagram page. If you’ve ever been to an airport, more than likely you’ve seen an airport TUG. If you haven’t a TUG is a vehicle that is to be used to prepare an aircraft for take-off or transport a plane for regular maintenance and repair. These are hefty vehicles weighing anything from 8800 pounds up to 88,000 pounds and some of these can move a 300,000-pound aircraft, and most don’t go above 15 MPH.
Well recently at the Fort Lauderdale International one of these TUGs crashed through the wall of the crew breakroom Kool-Aid Man style. My first question would be how thin are these walls, followed by how did this happen? Seriously these TUGs are known to malfunction, it’s not that uncommon, I verified it on Google. But the general consensus over it Ramp Life is that the pervious person using the TUG noticed an issue with the breaks, but it was the end of their shift and didn’t want to deal with filling out a repair ticket so they clocked out. Enter the next ramp worker to hop on the TUG, only to find defective breaks at about the same time he found the wall. I wonder the over/under of someone getting a drug test for this..
Well, there you have it Episode 201. Five “Thank You Florida” stories and a few travel tips.
For long-time listeners, thank you for your comments and emails. For new listeners, I hope you return.
If you want detailed show notes, links, and pictures head over to substack at travelstories.substack.com/
You can also leave me a message on Anchor, or shoot me an email at TravelFrick@gmail.com.
As I always say, travel safe, stay safe, and thanks for listening.
Share this post